I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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