Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
