so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
