How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
