whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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