I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
