just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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