How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
