im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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