Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
