I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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