i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
