My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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