I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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