I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
