also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
