I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
