just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
