He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
