do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
