party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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