hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
