the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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