Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
