Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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