Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
