All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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