we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
