Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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