I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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