therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
