But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
