There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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