if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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