For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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