I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
