Where did you get a picture of my penis
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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