I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
