he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
