I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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