Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
