This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
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