Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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