I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
