On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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