Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
