what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
