how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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