Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
