woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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