if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
