First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
