If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
