Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
