Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
