watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
